1. Write An Album About It
Hi, I’d like to introduce you to someone you might know HER NAME IS BEYONCE AND SHE LITERALLY WROTE LEMONADE, AN ENTIRE ALBUM ABOUT JAY-Z’S INABILITY TO KEEP HIS PENIS IN HIS DRAWERS. She made tons of cash, earned critical acclaim, and presumably still has sex with Jay-Z because he’s still got a penis.
2. Give Him A Tattoo
Take your lover out for a nice meal. Get him good and tipsy. When the hour is right, suggest impulsive couples’ tattoos. If he hesitates, make sure he keeps drinking. Once he passes out, pass the tattoo artist some hush money and then the world is your oyster. I recommend “CUM DUMPSTER” on his forehead.
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