4. The Doggie Diddler
Sean McDonnell is doing time in an Irish jail on behalf of his dog. Sean’s a fairly kinky guy and he used to roam bestiality chatrooms where he met an unnamed lady. He offered to introduce her to his Alsatian dog and she happily accepted. She came round and then things got well… unmentionable between her and the hound. A few hours later she was dead; she was allergic to the dog’s semen. Sean was charged with “buggery contrary to Section 61 of the Offences against the Person Act 1861” presumably because they couldn’t find anything more precise to charge him with.
5. The Irregular Use of a Chainsaw
If drinking and driving don’t mix – it’s fair to say that you shouldn’t try playing with chainsaws after a few cold ones. In Poland, Krystof Azninski and his chum decided to ignore that rule. They were engaged in a game of macho one upmanship. They began with a few slaps, moved onto chucking frozen turnips at each other’s heads before Krystof’s chum had the brilliant idea of chain sawing his own foot off. Krystof couldn’t let that go by without a response; so he used the chainsaw on his own head. Bye Krystoff.
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