8. The Really Bad Disguise
For decades it’s been common knowledge that if you want to rob a bank; you wear a disguise. Traditionally this has been in the form of balaclava or perhaps a pair of pantyhose modified for the occasion. Thomas James apparently wasn’t a stickler for tradition so when he and his chum went to rob a convenience store; his disguise consisted of spraying his face gold with industrial paint. Industrial paint which very clearly had on the bottle “no contact with skin or eyes” and sadly for our hapless robber – shortly after the robbery he stopped breathing due to the pain and never started breathing again.
9. The Wrong Way to Be an Alcoholic
Michael Warner. a 58 year old. was a serious alcoholic. He’d also got a bad throat infection which made drinking a deeply unpleasant experience. But he couldn’t live without his fix and so he had the brilliant idea of asking his wife to help him get drunk by delivering the booze as *ahem* an enema. He shoved 3 liters of sherry up his posterior and then promptly died of alcohol poisoning. We’d like to say we were making this up but his wife was charged with attempted murder for this – though the charges were eventually dropped.
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