Why men beat the women they love: It’s not your fault. And he won’t change. Men who batter rarely do it once, even if they are rich and famous. So if you’re in a relationship with a guy who has pushed, hit, or slapped you once, take it as a warning sign. You can expect him to do it again and again.
Here’s everything you need to know about batterers, from domestic violence experts Diann Ackard, a psychologist on the board of Break the Cycle (an organization specializing in the treatment of domestic abuse), and Candice Hopkins, director of Love is Respect (the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline).
1. Batterers have an intense need to control the women they love.
The biggest misconception about these guys is that they have “anger management” issues. They don’t. They don’t blow up at work or at the driver who cuts into their lane. Instead, they have an overwhelming need to control their loved one — how she dresses, where she goes, and whom she talks to.
That’s why, before they actually start using physical violence to stay in control, they are often constantly phoning and text messaging the object of their affections so they know exactly what she’s doing at all times.
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