When I hinge my self-worth on the idea that I am only as worthy as I am helpful, it will only set me up for failure, because I can’t do everything and be everywhere, no matter how much I might try.
When I continuously reinforce the idea that who I am is strictly tied into what I can and will do for other people, then I am bound to lose myself when there is no one who needs to help them, and the result will leave me feeling empty and unnecessary. I am slowly learning that this idea of I require validation that I am a good friend and good person because I am helping someone is a selfish underlying motive, and that it honestly takes away from the help I am trying to give when I expect to be praised for it.
I am slowly learning that a lot of times, people don’t honestly need me to save them. Some people don’t really need to be saved at all as much as they just need to be listened to and told that they matter. I have a tendency to believe that I must carry all of the world’s problems on my shoulders, completely alone, when all I would really need to do is take a moment and listen to what is really needed. I am slowly realizing that in trying to be someone’s hero, I may not be helping them at all.
I am slowly learning that at the end of it all, it’s a wonderful thing that I want to help those around me and do what I can to help them in their struggles, but that it’s also important for me to know when I should take a step back and take care of myself, too.
I am slowly learning that I honestly matter, too.
By Lacey Ramburger, ThoughtCatalog.
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