You were addicted to your ex. No, really! You were. Researchers found the same areas that light up the brain when a person is high on drugs, is the same area that lights up when they are in love. Once you take away that high, a person undergoes the same feelings of withdrawal, but not as physically damaging as with actual recreational drugs. Without the help of a great support system and a proactive approach to feeling better, you end up hanging on to the feeling of loss.
Unfortunately, most of the easy methods are always the hardest to follow. Forgetting about your ex, seeing a therapist, talking about your pain, etc. Those are all helpful, but not if you don’t want to do any of it. Therein lies the problem of letting go. You will not let go if you do not do anything to make it happen. Reading this article is your first step.
How can I get over my ex?
This is what you have been waiting for, but it’s not what you usually expect out of a “getting over someone” article. Rather than repeat everything else that every expert says, let’s take a different route and try to make this as easy and comfortable as possible.
1 Think about why you don’t need your ex, but don’t think about what went wrong in the relationship. The most damaging thoughts a person have after a breakup is the blame they put on themselves. A key reason for why people can’t let go of their past relationships. They focus on the why’s and what-if’s, which leads them to think about the whole relationship itself. This takes a really long time, hence the “not letting go” part.
If, however, you take some time to avoid thinking about the pitfalls of the relationship, you may find you get over your ex faster. According to a study, people who focused less on the reasons for the breakup ended up adjusting better to the situation. Most of the time, this is not possible, but to counter that need, you may think about what your ex did wrong instead.
Another study was conducted to analyze the emotional states of people who are getting over a breakup. Those who focused on the negative aspects of their partner were more likely to get over them faster than the ones who did not. This is actually easy, but only if you do not try to make excuses for your ex. You’ve probably done enough of that already.
So, if you have some time on your hands, try to think of all the negative aspects of your partner. It already hurts to think about the positive aspects. Listing their bad traits and actions won’t put a dent in your emotions right now.
2 Avoid all contact with your ex, but do not force it. If you have gone through other articles and books selling this advice, those authors are inexplicably right. You need to cut off all contact with your ex. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done.
I’ve experienced this myself, and let me tell you, I did not succeed. Even when I break up with a different person, I still can’t manage to follow this rule. Fortunately, I developed a hack to help the ones who are in the same boat as I am.
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