Ever been in situations where you find it so hard to let go of someone who you have invested your time, energy and all your love for? Ever felt so sad that someone so special has decided to walk away from your life? Ever felt so terrible and felt like giving up in relationships because that one person still lives in your heart, therefore, it’s hard to commit to another person? Well, this article by Danielle Anne, is so very insightful and can help you through this.
It seems like they got over you. But why exactly aren’t you over them? We have different-than-normal tips to help you understand how to get over someone.
Every breakup is another episode of us crying into a tub of ice cream and their ex-partner going back to their lives as if nothing happened. In the midst of it all, you check Facebook and see your former SO chilling with their friends and not looking like the train wreck that you expect them to be after your devastating breakup.
Why is it difficult to get over your ex?
Forget the usual drivel about it being different for everybody. That feeling you get when you can’t seem to let go of your ex is the same for everybody else. Your mind and body go through the normal physical and mental reactions part of dealing with a breakup.
It can be worse for others, but the mechanism stays the same. You and your partner broke up. It hurts, and you can’t get over them. Why is that? Here are the reasons.
You are driven to want to be loved. According to Dr. Helen Fisher, Ph.D., people are programmed to crave romantic experiences. It is not because our emotional minds tell us to look for love. The truth is, love is a primal need.
After a breakup, your brain starts to go into withdrawal because the romantic experience of being in a relationship has been snuffed out by your loss. You can’t get over it yet because your brain is telling you that you need love. Unfortunately, the only source currently on your mind is your ex.
The thought of not having your ex is the same as experiencing physical pain. And what do we do when we feel pain? We focus on it because there is nothing else stronger than that feeling. If someone constantly pinches you, you would not be able to think about anything else until you make that person stop.
While separated from your ex, you feel the same level of discomfort and unease that stems from physical pain. So, the two things you end up doing are to either focus on that pain or try to make it go away.