15 Most disappointing things about $ex - Judge yourself now!

Most disappointing things about $ex - Because however much we want it to feel like we’re the star of our own porn film, it usually doesn’t. Read FULL ARTICLE right after the cut... More.. Top 10 richest Nigerian actors – See who is number 1! (+Photos) 10 struggles only men with big pen1es can relate to The 10 most seductive perfumes for men.. [+Pics] 10 Most intelligent people of the world (+Photos) 7 things to keep in mind while being photographed to make you photogenic [Must See] These are the 15 Most disappointing things about sex:

1. Sex toys: All of them have knocked man’s genitalia down a peg. How do we compete with 11inch gadgets that rotate? The last time I looked, I don’t twizzle in a circular motion (although how awesome would that be?). 2. Premature ejaculation: ‘Baby, I swear it’s never happened before.’ It happens all the time. 3. When she rolls over and says, ‘is that it?’: ‘Yes, that’s it. Would you like me to make to perform a card trick or make you a giraffe out of balloons?’ Navigate using 4. Not swallowing: Go hard or go home, as the saying goes. There’s nothing less sexy than a forced smile and a bedside spittoon followed by a thorough rinse with Listerine. 5. The fact that it’s not porn: Making love is just wonderful. But 80 per cent of the time man dreams of his bedroom as the set of an X-rated movie. 6. Condoms: Yes, they may be a safeguard against pregnancy and stop the spread of STIs, but they don’t feel nice (of course, we wear them anyway). 7. When she doesn’t make any noises: Man needs encouragement. It’s no different than being cheered on at the sidelines of a rugby match. So give us the odd moan to let us know we’re doing okay, yeah? 8. When she makes too many noises: There’s moaning with pleasure, then there’s wailing like a deer that’s injured itself in the woods. Don’t be that person. 9. When you try an exotic position and it fails: It’s time to try out that move you’ve highlighted in the Karma Sutra you bought from that sex shop where couples scuttle around awkwardly fondling dildos. But what appears to be a fun and exciting position quickly turns into a naked wheelbarrow race – and someone usually gets hurt. 10. Being told size doesn’t matter: Of course size matters, maybe not for sex, but having a big Johnson makes man feel ten times manlier. 11. Going flaccid halfway through: The only passable excuse for going floppy is because you’ve had too much sex (LAD). But it’s important to stress that this is absolutely no reflection on the woman we’re sleeping with. It’s not your looks that come into play here, ladies, trust me – man can and will make love to anything that gives it permission. 12. Sweating: They say sex is the best form of exercise, but that’s what gyms are for. Man doesn’t have time for sweat in the bedroom. No one wants that hulking brow bead to tumble into their woman’s eye or mouth. 13. Floating a threesome: Man can’t propose a threesome without looking like a horny sex pest. But apparently there’s an app for organising the trio-lay now. What a time we live in. 14. Being judged: Even when women say they are not judgmental about a guy’s performance, there may as well be a panel of sexperts at the end of your bed holding up scores. 15. Being asked if you can ‘go again’ almost immediately after you’ve finished: Sure, let me just wind up my piece and get back on the horse (so to speak). It doesn’t work like that. Women, give us AT LEAST an hour. If you’ve met a man who can rise to the challenge within minutes then you keep him and you never let him go because he is some kind of a sexual warrior. - Metro Uk CLICK HERE to join our BBM Channel for faster updates TOP POSTS YESTERDAY Top 10 YouTube videos of all time Top 10 sexiest girls in the world 2015 – See who is number 1 (+Photos) The 14 most powerful Ghanaian celebrity couples you should know of [Photos] The 10 most beautiful places in the world – Number 1 is in Africa (Pictures) Eva Alordiah goes nud£, bares backside in hot new pics.. (See Photo) Top 17 worst celebrity wardrobe malfunctions that went viral – #17 will leave you in stitches! (See Photos) 31 wildest and exciting sex positions you probably never tried and need to (18+ With Pics) The 10 most dangerous cities in the world – Never visit these places or… [Must See] How to steal a guy from his girlfriend.. Bad friends – 10 circumstances when you should end a friendship Checkout the top ten Nollywood actresses with tattoos – See where they are tatted! Celebrities you never knew were gay – The list will shock you! (+Photos) The 20 types of vag1na you will meet in your lifetime & how to handle them.. Top 10 hottest Nigerian female celebs men are dying for right now! (+Photos) The top 20 richest musicians in Nigeria and their net worth for 2015 (+Pics)

15 Most disappointing things about $ex – Judge yourself now!

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