For some reason(s) that science is yet to prove, a lot of ladies are drawn to ‘bad boys’. Maybe it’s the rush that comes with doing something that’s borderline unhealthy for you, or the thought that the guy is only that way because he hasn’t met the right woman.
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Some even think that “he will change” and that they will be the engineers of this change. More often than not, that is not the case. And this only leads to hurt, some too deep to ever recover from. If you’re in a relationship with someone who does not respect you, is not faithful to you or who physically abuses you, take a second to think about it. What is really the appeal? And why do you stand these things? Do you think you deserve better?
Sometimes, we’re afraid to let people go because of the notion, where do we start from? Giving yourself to someone is a lot; you share time, dreams, and so many other things. But if you spend more time fighting or apologizing than being together, then you need to reconsider. Starting again is not the worst thing. Yes, it will require strength and courage, and yes, it will require picking up pieces, but it is a small price to pay for a life of happiness.
Ladies, the signs are always there; he won’t just turn into a monster overnight. You’ll see them in his responses, in the way he treats others and in the way he treats you. If you’re noticing red flags, don’t wave them off or sweep them under the carpet; deal with them now. Don’t be blind to faults because of lies that you have planted in your own mind about your partner and your relationship. Open your eyes and see things for what they really are, not what you’d like them to be or what you wish they were.
Respect yourself enough to walk away from people who don’t treat you right. Sure, it might be thrill and fun in the beginning, maybe he is incredibly hot and you can’t get over him, but these things won’t help you when it really matters. Don’t lose yourself in the pursuit of a relationship, don’t rate yourself second (I’m not saying be selfish, I’m saying you’re a factor to be considered too when you’re making relationship decisions).
Abuse can be addictive, and there are many forms of abuse: emotional, physical, verbal, and so on. Take a close look at your relationship; is it helping you grow? Is this something that is realistic long term? It is true that in some cases, very rare cases, men have turned. But if we’re being honest, is a leopard ever really rid of its spots?
Maybe your own argument is “but I love him!” To you I say, to love someone, you have to first love yourself. Do you love yourself? Do you consider your own happiness and dreams important? Stop bending over backwards for people who will not do the same for you. Straighten up, and walk away.
Please share your experiences in the comment section so others can learn.
-TON
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