If your man doesn't have these 4 traits

If your man doesn’t have these 4 traits – NEVER you marry him!

4. HE HAS A LIFE OF HIS OWN

In a world of dating sites and swiping right, couples who do everything together may seem retro and cute from the outside, but there’s a real value in flying solo, even when attached. “Relationships are dynamic and there are a lot of ways to connect with a partner. It’s important to have an identity and individuality when in a relationship. The more you work on yourself and build self-confidence, the more you can bring to the relationship. The more you grow, the more the relationship can grow,” says Estes.

The Life Of His Own/Relationship Equation: I’m obviously not suggesting that every woman start loving the idea of a Costa Rican bachelor party blow-out (sorry, gentlemen, I know too much), but imagine never having time to unwind with your girls over a bottle of wine or take that trip to the ultimate spa retreat with your bestie?

We tend to forget that we are all individuals on a life journey who choose to walk together, and being in a relationship doesn’t change that. “It’s important to have alone time, friend time, and hobbies outside of the relationship to allow partners to be excited to come back together and share their stories,” says Estes. SEE ALSO: 10 surprising ways sex makes men healthier

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When It’s Workable: If your man is a bit shy or a bit of a loner, it doesn’t mean you need to dump him. He may be unsure as to how to reach out to new friends. Think about it: In school, it was easy to meet new people, but as we grow older, the opportunities to make new friends (and see old ones) can seem more limited which means unless your guy has a solid crew of constant companions, he’s likely not going to always have someone to do something with.

When It’s Not: If your dude confuses co-dependency with love, doesn’t really have any interests or passions (read: boring) or sacrifices his “alone time” in order to keep you from going out and enjoying yours, it might be time to move forward … on your own.

Now, here’s the caveat, ladies: You should be able to offer all of these things, too.

–Brenda Della Casa

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