Here’s what you CAN do when you love someone with depression — you can hold their hand.
It might seem like an impossibly small and insignificant thing to do, but, trust me, it’s not.
You can’t get angry. You can’t rage against her depression (because it’s a part of her). All you can do is show her, in some small way, that you’re not going anywhere.
You hold her hand. You rub her back. You bring her another blanket.
You don’t react to her depression. She’s already hyper-aware of how destructive her depression is to herself, and she’s secretly worried that it’s destroying your life too. So you don’t let her see you flinch.
You remain present and solid and unwavering. You show her that you can see her — depression and all — and that you still want to stick around.
It’s not always easy. It can be so hard to separate your emotions, making sure that your anger at her depression doesn’t seep into your emotions for her. Because yelling at a victim never accomplishes anything. The even harder part is accepting that you’re powerless, that there isn’t any magic thing you can do to make everything all right.
When you love someone with depression, all you can do is show them that you still love them no matter what. You can’t fix them. You can’t soothe them. You can only let them know that you’ve seen both their light and dark sides and it hasn’t changed how you feel about them one bit.
Again, it’s a small gesture, but, in time, you’ll realize that it means everything.
Source: Yourtango
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