25. And given backhanded compliments.
Someone with a barbed tongue insults you, but not directly. What he or she says hurts, but you can’t directly pinpoint why. This person gives “left-handed compliments,” which are insults disguised as compliments. As an example: “You look so much better in that dress than the last time I saw you wearing it.” Huh? What does that mean?
- How this relationship affects you: You’ll have an immediate physical reaction of pain when this person talks, because you can energetically sense that he or she is hostile. Yet you may feel confused, because your brain is trying to track the person’s words, and they just don’t add up or make sense. He or she may claim that “it’s just a joke” or “you’re too sensitive” if you say anything about his or her stinging words.
- How to handle this: If someone repeatedly barbs you with left-handed compliments, it’s time to question whether this relationship can continue or not. If it’s a close relative, such as your mother or sister, you’ll always have that person in your life in some form. If this is the first time there has been a miscommunication, you can discuss and resolve the situation fairly rapidly. However, if this is a chronic pattern or if the person becomes defensive or dismissive of your feelings, it’s time to question or leave the relationship.
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