26. You never get a word in edgewise.
When you have a conversation with big talkers, it’s as if they never breathe. All they do is talk and talk and talk, and it’s never your turn. If you say anything, your words are immediately run over and crushed by their dialogue, which is really more of a monologue. When this person calls, you could set down the telephone receiver and walk away. The person would still keep talking, because he or she is not cued in to the other person.
- How this relationship affects you: This type of relationship will leave you frustrated every time. Your needs of being heard and listened to aren’t being met. If this is a friend or distant relative, you’ll probably find yourself avoiding him or her, especially telephone calls, which can be very uncomfortable and time-consuming with this type of person.
- How to handle this: Set the parameters at the beginning of each conversation by saying, “I only have fifteen minutes to talk before my next appointment,” and then adhere to this strictly. Say, “I’ve got to go, love you, ‘bye,” and then hang up. If you wait for the chronic talker to give you his or her blessing that the call is ending, it will never happen. He or she will always say, “Oh, and one more thing.” You must initiate and follow through with ending the call.
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