Ten days ago, I logged onto Facebook, hoping to see a private message from him answering me about wanting to see each other soon, but instead I noticed I was tagged in a private note written by him. It was titled in bold letters “I’ve been dealing with this for awhile.” My heart jumped a bit at the title, thinking that maybe he had done something really bad, maybe gotten a girl pregnant who was bad news, I don’t know. My mind raced as I read, and my heart only sunk further as I read on. Also See: For one week, I decided to SLEEP with my boyfriend whenever he wanted (Here’s what happened)
“I’m really sorry I didn’t call you. I’m really sorry that this is the way that I chose to go, but I can’t live with it anymore. When the thing that terrifies you the most comes back to you full force, it’s not easy to come to terms with.
Remember when I told you about my dad and how he always seemed to know what I was doing? Remember that one time that I told you he was standing in the hallway on the phone, back turned to me many, many feet away, and I crept out of my room even though I was grounded and wasn’t supposed to leave that day? And he threw the phone down and came after me, even though I made no sounds making my escape, I told you it was as if he had seen me try to leave, though there was no possible way? And that one time… he was sleeping on the couch and snoring REALLY loudly, but I swore to CHRIST I heard him whispering at the same time, like an echo, something that would have been impossible. It was the source of my nightmares for a long time.
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