12. Jessica Alba – Binky Sucker
Jessica Alba is the babiest baby that ever babied. She’s sucking on a pacifier for goodness sake! We hope she’s just doing it because her hands are full, rather than trying to reignite the pacifier accessory trend of the 90s. But in all seriousness, no one should be sucking on a pacifier – adult or baby.
Pacifiers are the worst thing to happen to babies since doctors telling pregnant women to drink a cocktail every night to wind down. Children often become overly attached to and dependent on their pacifiers. When they are constantly sucking on them, they are telling the world that their parents are irresponsible. Any pediatrician will tell you that overuse can cause speech and language delays, not to mention a malformed oral cavity. What’s the best way to prevent this from happening?
By never giving your child a pacifier to begin with! But Alba doesn’t want you to know this. Her billion dollar business, The Honest Company, is predicated on her posing as a responsible mother. Yeah, right. She should go suck an egg – not a pacifier.
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