3. “You can help me when I’m nervous.”
Few issues have a more chilling effect on a between-the-sheets session than performance anxiety. Sure, there are medical reasons your guy may peter out mid-act—including diabetes, heart disease, hormonal disorders, and side effects from medication—but nine times out of 10, the leading cause of penis failure is between his ears, not his legs.
Self-doubt travels from the brain to the penis in a flash, so whether you are with a man for the first time (and you’re an unfamiliar partner to him) or he feels pressure to measure up to some hypothetical sexual standard, his penis may let him down. Once he starts worrying about whether he’ll be able to get or stay hard, he may become clumsy, or forget about doing the things that excite you, or become too distracted to even feel the kisses and strokes you’re bestowing upon him. You know the result.
When you sense he’s tensing up, encourage your guy to stop what he’s doing and tell you about whatever anxiety he’s feeling. It happens to all men, and your acceptance is going to mean a lot to him. Ninety-nine percent of the time, candor will improve the situation by defusing stress. You can do your part by reassuring him, calming him down, and taking the pressure off. And if you don’t succeed, try again and again and again. (And again.)
Discussion about this post