4. Kelly Slater / Surfer
American surfer Kelly Slater has won the championship of the World Surf League a record eleven times, including five that he won consecutively from 1994 to 1998. Perhaps even more impressively, he is both the youngest (at 20 years old) and the oldest (at 39 years old) to take home the title. However, even Slater has fallen victim to the occasional unpredictability of poop. In fact, he’s openly admitted to having gone “No. 2” in the ocean. In his words, “The secret . . . is being down current from everybody. You don’t want to go up current at your friends. That’s rude.” Well at least he’s considerate enough not to direct a brown floater towards his competitors, right?
3. Adam Lane, Jr. / American Football Player
Anyone who poops himself during a public event would likely never want to recall the moment, or would at least look back to the occasion with embarrassment. However, Florida running back Adam Lane [yes, in context, the position he plays is sadly appropriate] surprisingly calls his episode “the best thing that could have happened.” It took place early in the second quarter at the 2015 Birmingham Bowl between Lane’s team and East Carolina, which Florida won 28-20, by the way. From two yards out, Lane pranced into the end zone, and during that drive, somehow suffered an accident, resulting in a brown stain on the back of his white pants. Within minutes, though, Lane was back on the field with a new unstained pair. He recalled, “I got a lot of attention and just put me in a place where I was out there publicly and people knew who I was. I really didn’t get a lot of grief from it. A lot of people were really more focused on how well I did in the game more than anything. I feel like it was that way because I embraced it.”
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