2. Tobey Maguire
“25 minutes. That is the length of time residents in New York City laughed uncontrollably when they saw a man wearing a red jumpsuit crying over the loss of something they can’t even remember. One woman even reported that she laughed so hard she peed her pants when she saw the man kind of dressed like a spider rip off his mask and begin crying. She said she wasn’t sure if making that face was a part of his act that included shooting spider webs out of his arms, but she wanted to congratulate the man, who we can confirm is Peter Parker of New York City, on making their day a bit funnier. So far, nobody has taken his reported efforts as a super hero seriously. Crime has also climbed 200% as a result. Back to you John…”
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