Times it is perfectly okay for a guy to cry: I have a really embarrassing confession. Almost always when I chug a carbonated beverage, aka beer, I cry a little. You wouldn’t notice it unless you really looked, but it happens every time. I’m not in pain or anything, I just have this unavoidable natural reaction. I love beer and for that reason this upsets me. There isn’t an OTC medication for it either, trust me, I’ve looked! Unfortunately, I’m just forced to live with this super humiliating defect that I’m consistently judged for.
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Human social norms are insane! Most of them change generation to generation and there is no saying what will stay true when it comes to what is acceptable between genders. Think about something as simple as gender acceptable fashion colors. In the past half century, men have gone from the entire rainbow of choices to an accepted few shades of blue, grey and green. Anything else bends girls into thinking we are preppy frat boys (guilty), full massed metrosexuals, or playing for another team. I don’t make the rules, I’ve just been around. I’m not a very serious guy, though. I think when it comes to the topic of what is acceptable in the borders of manhood, I can throw darts into the bullseye, but I need to explain something first. One, I’m a comedian, so some of these are slightly for the sake of humor, but I am aiming to make a point and a convincing one at that. Two, “Crying,” for a man is confusing. Often times you’ll never see it, but it’s a thing… like an insect crawling away to die alone, we will retreat to solitude to shed a tear or let the sprinklers jet on the inside. Either way, there are a few, but acceptable, times when a man is allowed to cry. In the parenthesis painted in the list titles you will find either an “I” or an “O” which stand for “crying on the inside” and “crying on the outside,” respectively.
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