But with all those big maybes out of the way, our experts say that it’s not very likely anyone’s having too much sex.
For the most part, partners don’t want to get down all the time—and even if they do—their schedules don’t allow it. “When it comes to the frequency of sex, each person has their preference—which is then limited by their schedule, their sleep pattern, and of course, their partner’s availability,” Castellanos says.
Over time, a couple finds their sweet spot and has sex a comfortable amount for them—whatever that may be. “The majority of people find that this falls somewhere between one to two times per week,” Castellanos says, “and this frequency is usually higher during the first couple of years of a relationship.”
As time goes on, you may actually see a dip in your sex schedule, Castellanos says. “It’s very realistic that couples cut down their frequency of sex after the first few years, partly because of a drop in dopamine and partly because of their routine,” she explains. But over the course of your relationship, that’s OK, Van Kirk says. “Couples will find their own ebb and flow. There will be times of more sex and times of less. The most important thing is to stay connected and communicate so that you can weather and enjoy wherever you are on the spectrum.”
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