Reasons your ex is ruining your relationship – It happened. You have found that relationship you always hoped you would find. You have found a person with whom you share not only an intense chemistry, but also a truly deep heart and soul connection. You have created an amazing relationship place with this person. You are genuinely and totally happy.
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Just when you think nothing can disrupt that amazing relationship place, it happens. Your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend (we’ll just collectively refer to them as the “ex”) starts contacting you. They start calling you, sending you text messages and leaving you voicemail messages. They want you to give your relationship with them another try.
It’s amazing. Ex’s always seem to find their way back into your life to dump all their issues on you at the very moment when you’re most happy with someone else. It’s like they have a special radar which alerts them that it is the perfect time to try to get you back at the very moment you are in this most happy place.
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So what do you do? How do you respond to this crusade to win you back? Many people, out of the best of intentions and out of a residual feeling of caring for their ex, will not be totally honest in how they respond. Not wanting to hurt their ex, many people will either not give their ex a definitive “no” to their request and/or will downplay the depth of their feelings and commitment to their current significant other.
This is not the best way to respond to an ex. Although not intended as such, this kind of “soft pedal” response to an ex actually is damaging to all parties involved as well as to your current relationship. Here are four reasons why you need to be totally open with your ex:
1. Your Ex Will Believe There Is A Chance Until You Tell Them Otherwise: An ex who comes to you after having an “epiphany” wherein they decide they are a new person and that you need to give your relationship with the “new them” a second chance, feel very strongly that their epiphany is a truth. They believe with absolute certainty that what they feel is the right thing for both of you. When you respond to an ex in this situation, then, you must keep any measure of ambiguity out of your response. It is imperative that you are clear.
If you do not respond to an ex’s plea with a very definitive “no,” your ex will continue to believe there is still some chance to convince you to say yes. You need to be totally honest with your ex and tell them that there is no chance that the two of you will get back together. You need to be completely open about the fact that you are not only with someone else, but that you are with someone for whom you have very deep and intense feelings.
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