Why you’re not having good sex – In a perfect world, knocking boots would always be a volcano-erupting, headboard-breaking experience that leaves us giddy for days. But the reality is that (too) many things can put a damper on our sex lives, which is why so many of us are turning to sex therapy for guidance.
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Don’t want to shell out the cash? These tips from our go-to love docs will help you put the kibosh on six prevalant probs.
1. Birth Control Debates
Whether you don’t want to use the pill or your guy thinks condoms are a total buzzkill, the question of who should be responsible for protection can lead to power struggles in the relationship and do a number on your sex life, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.
The best way to combat this is to meet in the middle. Talk about why certain birth control options make you uncomfortable, and work out a plan in which you’re both equally responsible for providing protection. (For example, choose a method that you both agree on and split the cost, or take turns using your preferred picks).
2. Mismatched Sex Drives
Everyone’s sex drive is different, making it super easy for couples to fall out of sync with each other. The solution? Get to know each other’s sexual past and make adjustments to your sexual present, says Dawn Michael, Ph.D., clinical sexologist and author of My Husband Won’t Have Sex With Me. Say your guy masturbates daily and you only do so once a week. This routine primes his sex drive to be ready for anything, while yours, well, isn’t. Cutting back to every other day can bring his sex drive closer to your level, says Michael, or you can go solo more often to match his.
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