Rules happy couples follow when they fight – Chances are, even the most “perfect” couples you know have had their fair share of ugly spats. “The road to intimacy is paved with ruptures and repairs,” says Dr. Wendy Walsh, PhD and author of The 30-Day Love Detox. When it comes to relationships, conflict is inevitable—but it’s how you handle those blowouts that makes all the difference.
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Whether he skipped ahead in OITNB without you, or your political/religious views aren’t well aligned, there’s a right way and a wrong way to work out your issues. Here’s how happy couples get it right when it comes to conflict resolution.
1. They actually listen.
In the throes of an argument, both parties are often thinking more about their comebacks than what the other person has to say. We immediately become defensive in arguments, says Walsh. This is a feeding ground formiscommunication and results in two people simply talking at one another, without digesting and building off of one another’s thoughts and feelings. “The person who is not being heard will find somebody to listen,” says Walsh. “And that person will be either a lover or a lawyer.”
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