2. Never fight dirty.
Now that your man has opened up and shared parts of himself with you, guess what happens with a lot of women? They take these revelations and throw them back in their men’s faces in moments of heated argument.
- “That’s why your boss thinks you’re weak!”
- “No wonder you are afraid of feeling like a failure!”
- “Maybe you are acting like that because your father was abusive, like you told me he was.”
When we women see red, we want to win a fight and feel like our feelings are valid. But all your feelings are valid. Nothing he says or does is going to negate your feelings. You are entitled to them, and that’s all you need to know. If you want your man to hear your feelings, see your hurt, and understand your pain, speak to him like he is someone you hear, see, and understand.
This will create emotional connection and will bring him emotionally close to you. He will realize that you are able to honor his person and his feelings, despite your own negative feelings. He will then start doing the same for you. That’s how healthy men work. They want nothing more than to hold your feelings, even when you are upset. They just don’t want to get burned for it.
If you can bring your feelings about him to him in a safe environment that invites closeness and positive change, he will break his back trying to honor your feelings and wishes, even if he has to make sacrifices for your happiness. He really wants to take care of your emotional needs.
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