How to tell if he’s emotionally unavailable – Here’s what to look out for, and how to rise above it. So many women come out of the woodwork and share with me their heartbreaking stories of dealing with guys who can’t or won’t commit or move the relationship to the next level. Or guys who can’t even label the relationship. First of all, how do you know if he’s really emotionally unavailable or if he’s just a little guarded because he’s not ready to plunge in both feet? Or, worse still, he’s just not that into you?
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Second, if he’s not ready, will he be ready one day? And when he’s ready, will he pick you as the one? Will you just waste time with such guys? Will you feel used or feel like a temporary filler until something better comes along, and then will he dump you?
Third, if he’s truly emotionally unavailable, is there a cure to it and should you just accept it or move on to a greener pasture?
My advice is don’t freak out or give up just because he’s not ready. Don’t pine or over-invest either. There are ways to do it right and keep your heart safe.
This relationship will heal you from your own unreadiness and/or emotional unavailability that you aren’t even aware of. This relationship will prepare you for the real deal with the real man who deserves you — either him or someone better. When you’re ready, the right man will find and claim you.
So how do you know if a guy is truly into you? Generally speaking, when a man is into a woman,it doesn’t take much for her to feel that. He will show efforts, initiate, take you out, love to touch, hug, kiss and makeout with you, make you feel special, call/text and compliment you.
If you have to ask, he’s either giving you conflicting messages or he’s not. But why would a man give conflicting messages? Here are some of the reasons:
- He likes you but he’s not looking for relationship. He doesn’t want to lead you on so he has to blow hot and cold.
- He likes you enough to want to explore things with you, but he’s discouraged or scared by your enthusiasm or (perceived) clinginess. So he needs to back off every now and then to dampen your eagerness.
- He’s just playing the field and he’s probably in a relationship of some kind with another woman.
- He loves the sex and doesn’t really want anything more than a casual relationship in which sex is the center. In other words, you’re a just f*ckbuddy or a booty call.
- He just wants to be friend with benefits. He loves and values the friendship and the sex is great, but he doesn’t have the emotional capacity to make it more serious than that. Or simply, he’s just not up for the obligations, expectations and responsibility of a relationship at this very moment.
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