If you find yourself in the situation where you’re falling for Mr. Unavailable, here is the cure.
Some people are truly emotionally unavailable. That means they can’t be emotionally available to anyone, no matter how great he/she is. It might have to do with childhood traumas or upbringing, or there are some other psychological damages that make them unable to connect with another person on a deeper level.
If you have established that he is truly emotionally unavailable, it’s up to you what to do. Can you accept him the way he is with the amount of intimacy and emotional expressions he’s able to give you? Can you be contented with the little you have in terms of passion and affection? If not, it’s time to move on.
The number one concern among women will be a relationship of convenience (i.e. a casual relationship in which she invests more than he does, yet she feels she benefits less than he does), mainly because he has all the sex he wants and she gets very little in return in terms of security and commitment. And to a woman, security is everything; while to a man, his freedom, independence and autonomy come first.
The more you are relaxed about sex, the more alluring you become. By that I’m not saying be promiscuous or sleep with any man you date. Relationships based on convenience happen, but if you have faith in your own value as a woman, that worry can be minimized.
For most guys, though sex is important they will rarely come back for more for an extended period of time, unless they truly like you. Why? It’s just not worth it in the end, since most know that nothing comes free.
The potential of drama and hurt feelings far surpass the benefits of having regular, “easy” sex. And it’s even more so if the woman constantly puts them on alert of the status of the relationship.
Most men understand there’s virtually no strings attached sex after a certain amount of timehas passed. When she begins to show signs of discomfort of the lack of clarity in the relationship, most men will quickly leave the scene unless they really like her. And if she has been somewhat a nag and yet he’s still around, obviously he likes her more than just sex.
So while this notion isn’t foolproof by any means, that should enable you to relax a bit about the notion of “being used,” which is a phrase that only women with lack of self-esteem and self-confidence will use. A high-value woman feels secure and confident about her desirability simply because she has faith in herself, if nothing else.
This is what you can do to avoid a relationship of convenience that will waste years of your life:
1. Lean back and let him take the lead.
When a woman rows the boat, she’s creating a fertile ground for a relationship to flourish, because many guys will gladly enjoy the ride when they don’t have to extend any effort.
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