Things strong women NEVER do – These things push him away IMMEDIATELY. Did you know that your brain is actually wired to love others and experience love in return? It’s a basic human drive. Research by Helen Fisher, Ph.D. and others have shown through MRI brain scans how certain brain regions activate when you fall in love and form attachment with a romantic partner (or, as a new parent, to your child).
More..
- GUYS: 5 Signs your woman’s private part is healthy and safe – See this now!
- 11 More crazy pre-wedding pictures of Nigerian couples that will leave rolling on the floor!
- 5 reasons why most guys dump women after sleeping with them..
- The 20 richest Nigerian actresses & how much they have in bank account
And this is how healthy relationships work — They involve a sense of actual attachment developing, not just feelings of love.
As such, maintaining your love relationship takes work and a degree of ‘give and take’ to make it thrive. It’s natural for a couple to have issues come up that emotionally trigger each person and cause them to communicate and problem-solve in ways that often lead to morerelationship strife, not less.
When this occurs, your relationship doesn’t feel very satisfying; and in time, it’s doomed if you or your partner resort to any of the following four ways of getting attention or showing your frustration or hurt.
Note: The need to change your partner is usually the cause of these four controlling, manipulative, attention-seeking behaviors. These behaviors are forms of judgment, and toquote Katie and Gay Hendricks, are “criticisms that will eat away at all the good feelings in your relationship, until you have no relationship left.”
1. You lash out emotionally.
There are times in every relationship when we feel emotionally triggered. Whatever’s happening in the present moment reminds us of a hurtful past experience, our unconscious self triggers and we react … perhaps by lashing out verbally and/or physically. We may suddenly feel fearful and insecure about losing the one we say we love, and so we react in an aggressive way to force a sense of attachment.
Some have called the worst forms of this behavior “Crimes of Passion,” a form of acting outing that one carries out in the name of love. I hurt you and/or myself, because our love has gone away. One partner’s attachment turns dark and unhealthy.
Unhealthy attachment stems from a fear of loss and creates more relationship discord than harmony. To cope with this fear, you may feel the need to control your relationship on your terms. This kind of “love” is conditional, possessive and is more about the need for power over your partner. This is not authentic, pure love.
Pure, authentic love includes freedom. It invites each partner to give love freely without expecting something (a payback of sorts) in return. St. Francis de Sales said it best: “The measure of love is to love without measure.”
Discussion about this post