2. You sulk when you don’t get your way.
Sulking means pouting, acting aloof or withdrawn, showing silent resentment or protest. The hope is usually that your partner will notice your unhappiness and rush in to pacify you and please you again. However, this is a form of passive-aggressive retaliation and is really just a way of gaining control in the relationship. This behavior, in the long run, never leads to constructive communication or problem-solving. It’s a form of withholding love until certain conditions and expectations are met.
Relationships require trust, authentic connection and vulnerability. If trust and vulnerability are lacking, a meaningful and satisfying relationship cannot truly develop. C.S. Lewis said: “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” Being vulnerable with our partner means speaking openly about what we really want, need and feel, knowing the other person may not accept who we are or agree to meet our every need (exactly as we want it met).
Sulking doesn’t inspire your partner to meet your needs. Instead, it turns them off and shuts them down. Sulking is manipulative. It destroys the sense of safety, bonding and intimacy that makes a relationship grow and thrive. When you act too needy and/or controlling in the relationship, trust and vulnerability are compromised.
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