2. Pause before your respond.
This is a hard one, particularly when emotions are high.
When we react to the people in our lives, it says a lot about our relationship AND what’s going on with us internally. So, try this exercise. The next time, you’re about to give an emotional response to someone in your life — you’re going to yell at them, argue, mock them, etc. — force yourself to take a moment and try to identify the emotion that wells up inside of you before you respond.
That quick pause can tell you VOLUMES about what’s going on inside of you emotionally at the time.
3. Ask yourself “WWID?” (“What Would I Do?”)
We can’t learn anything about ourselves in a vacuum. Because personal insights don’t just appear out of thin air. The majority of the time they come from comparing and contrasting ourselves to others. We derive greater knowledge of ourselves by placing ourselves in context with the rest of the people in our lives.
If someone frustrates us, we can ask ourselves, “Would I do that? Would I respond that way?” If someone does something we admire, we can ask “What would I need to do in my life to respond in a similar fashion?”
While there are unhealthy ways to compare ourselves to others, it can also be a fantastic way to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and use that internal role-playing to learn more about who we are.
4. Train yourself to see the good in people.
This exercise is particularly important if you’re having conflict with the important people in your life. If you’re having a problem or some drama with someone, every day, force yourself to write down one thing you like or appreciate about them.
The things can be small (and you might have to stretch to find them occasionally), but the act of writing those items down will train your mind to seek out positive qualities in people.
And, hopefully, once you learn how to do that with other people, you can start to use that same skill-set to see the good in yourself.
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