5. You must have more followers than you are following.
6. Keep birthday post captions under two lines long. No one needs to know how Karen totally helped you through your breakup with “the ex” (omg remember that Karen?? haha).
7. Instagrams of people always get more likes than Instagrams of places and things (except the aforementioned avocado toast).
8. Do not follow more than three food-related accounts at once. Everyone can see when you follow @betcheslovecheese, @burratagram, and @wholycheezus all in a row.
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