How break up with your partners without hurting them: Sometimes people suck. They cheat on you with your best friend and skip your sister’s wedding to watch a football match they could record and watch later. In these situations, you probably don’t need to worry about breaking up sweetly — you can just end it. But sometimes people who aren’t right for you are nonetheless great, smart, attractive, and incredibly nice. They walk your puppy in the middle of the night and listen intently while you gossip about your coworkers. Ending things with these people is harder. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck in a relationship with them for life. There are legitimate ways to break up respectfully and maturely — and we’ve rounded up the top 7.
1. Tailor the breakup to the relationship.
According to psychoanalyst and psychotherapist Janice Lieberman, Ph.D., a relationship requires an official, face-to-face breakup if you’ve been dating for a few months or more. Emails, texts, and gchats are no longer options. A serious relationship in which you’ve shared important experiences merits in-person closure. That way both parties have a chance to talk about their feelings.
2. Time it right.
Let’s face it: There’s no “good” time to break up with someone. But, according to JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York-based psychotherapist who works with individuals and couples, you can at least try to deliver the news when your S.O. is relatively un-stressed about other parts of his or her life. In other words, if your partner’s grandfather just passed away, consider waiting a few days before saying you don’t want to be with him or her anymore. The conversation has to happen eventually, but there’s no need to make the person feel worse than he or she already will.
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