7 ways to break up with your partners without hurting them – They will thank you for breaking up if you do it right

3. Say, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Except don’t say exactly that, ever. The general idea is to focus on what makes you a bad fit for this relationship, and not necessarily your partner. As psychologist and relationship coach Linda Young, Ph.D. writes on PsychologyToday.com, mention a few concrete reasons why you aren’t fully committed to the relationship. (Think: You aren’t ready to be exclusive or you’re too caught up in your career.)

4. Stay specific.

Oftentimes the truth is that you’re ending things because your partner can’t give you everything you want. Relationship expert Susan Heitler, Ph.D. recommends that you help your soon-to-be-ex understand where you’re coming from by mentioning some exact behaviors that bothered you. So instead of saying “I can’t be with you because you’re clingy,” you could say something like, “When you got upset the other night because I was going out with my friends, I realized I couldn’t be there for you as much as you want me to.”