12. Fight n*des with politics. Tell him to go “Make America Great Again.” Tell him that it’s Wall Street’s fault he’s not getting nudes. Add that you have no desire to see “Little Marco.”
13. Remind him that you’re a “never n*de.” Make as many Arrested Development reference as necessary.
14. Bombard him with cat facts. Tell him to text “meow” to unsubscribe. When he texts “meow” follow that up with, “Thank you for subscribing to more cat facts!” and continue to send cat facts.
15. Tell him that he’s being disrespectful as f*ck and his mother would be ashamed to know what he’s asking of you, and if he really wants to see naked b00bs, he can Google them, because they have hundreds of thousands to see, and to stop treating you like a living and breathing p*rn generator. Yeah, it’s fun to respond with obnoxious and silly texts, but there’s also nothing wrong with taking a stand and telling him he’s being rude and gross and you are a human being, who has value for herself and Moral.
You go girl, stand up for Yourself, and One day in the nearest future, you’ll be proud you did.
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