Ways to love more and fight less – Sometimes, the best advice given to people in a relationship is common sense, uncommonly used—as in, do unto your mate as you’d like done to you.
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As a lawyer, a couples mediator, and the author of the bestseller Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In (now offered nationwide as a live and online marriage education course), people turn to me for relationship advice. Today, I share some tips to create the superglue to keep your relationship strong and healthy.
1. Maintain a positive daily communication routine.
Every couple has a communication routine. What’s yours? Kind or rude? Either way, you and your mate can easily upgrade your daily routine:
1. Say “Good morning” cheerfully, not “You have to take care of the…” And before you go to sleep, always say, “Good night.”
2. When you return home at the end of the workday, say “Hello” and give your mate a warm hug or kiss; don’t head for the mail, your cellphone, or computer.
3. Thank your mate for something every day, such as emptying the garbage, putting the kids to bed, or working hard to provide for your family. Be grateful that your mate is doing things that add value (big or small) to the family.
4. Lastly, say, “I love you because…” and fill in the blank with something thoughtful that your mate did that day, such as calling/texting you to find out how your meeting or doctor’s appointment went. Act, think, and talk like lovemates, not roommates.
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