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Whatever your romantic circumstance, finding love again is possible.
First, let’s get on the same page about soulmates. There are as many definitions about the term as there are people. Some think you only get one soulmate for life. Once you find that person, if you lose them—you’re done.
As a dating coach for women, I find this ridiculous. I prefer a broader definition, which says a soulmate can be a family member, close friend, or a lover.
Thinking you only get one soulmate is too limiting. In our continuously evolving society, having more than one great love is possible and probable. Think about it: if you grew up in the 60s or 70s, your parents stayed together and had one marriage. They lived in one house and your dad probably had one life-long job.
Today, this is rare. So, why would you think you only get one soulmate in a world where things constantly change? Hopefully, this broader definition opens your mind to finding your next soulmate.
Now, let’s look at the qualities of a soulmate:
- Attraction is over the top
- You really get each other
- You have so much in common
- The two of you are meant for each other
- It feels like you’ve known each other forever
- You’re two peas in a pod
- You finish each other’s sentences
- The conversation goes so deep that it’s intense
- The bliss is boundless
- You’re perfect together
- You’ve been together in a past life
1. You must have realistic criteria for a soulmate.
If you are still looking for your soulmate in midlife, maybe it’s time to rethink your criteria. Could something else be going on? Sometimes women’s standards are so high, no man could jump that bar, so your search becomes endless.
Where did the idea come from that your soulmate is perfect? Truth is, there are no perfect people; everyone is human and flawed.
Imagine you meet a man who seems like your soulmate, but as time passes you notice things that turn you off. That’s a signal you might be sabotaging your relationships and keeping yourself single by requiring perfection.
Instead of looking for the perfect person, consider a man who is perfect for you. That is completely different. You can have things in common and feel connected, yet allow him his humanness, which is much more realistic.
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