5 things single ladies are dying for single men to know

5. Don’t dishonor us by ‘keeping your options open.’ One of the reasons I refuse to engage in online dating, even the Christian version, is that I hate the idea of just being one of many options a man might be entertaining as he shops for a mate. Like, how many other women has he ‘added to his cart’ besides me? Thanks to technology, we are very aware that your options are unlimited these days. We can’t compete with all that is available to you at the touch of a screen and frankly, we don’t want to. Romans 12:10 says “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” I think it’s safe to say that honoring means not being a player. To honor means to set apart, to give high status or value to. Honoring a mate or potential mate means promising them your exclusive attention, emotionally and physically. To dishonor means to treat as common or ordinary. As sons and daughters of the King, we are not common or ordinary and we should never treat others that way or let ourselves be treated that way!

Guys, nothing makes a woman feel more common or ordinary than to discover she is just one of many options you are pursuing. On the other hand, nothing makes a woman feel more honored than knowing you have eyes only for her and are committed to loving her with everything you’ve got. The fact that you have kept yourself away from physical, emotional, and even visual entanglements with other women so you can offer her the special gift of your WHOLE self allows her to rest in this security: that if you were faithful to her before you even met, then you really can be trusted to be faithful once you are married.

Guys, God knows you get bombarded daily with temptation. Many of you live alone and long for companionship. If you’re a single dad, you may be away from your kids a lot too, which makes it even harder. And you’re probably not thrilled about having to do your own laundry and dishes. Not to mention the physical urges. Part of you probably feels entitled to go find a woman and use her at some level to ‘take the edge off.’ You think no one understands. But Jesus does. He lived on his own as a man and was somehow able to keep himself pure, never violating a woman physically or emotionally, always intent on taking on the role of her protector and leading her in a way that would make her feel safe and bring out the best in her.

Could women say this is true of you? If not, don’t beat yourself up. The whole purpose of a heart check is to admit where you fail and let God correct you. Even if you’ve blown it up to this point, the good news is, your past does not have to disqualify you from this vision. On this side of the cross, through grace, we are all declared pure and are capable of having a relationship with one mate that is faithful and true and marked by honor. But it will not come without sacrifice. Are you willing to deny yourself the pleasures of careless flirting or ‘befriending’ attractive girls? Will you say a decisive no to all the sexual gratification options that the world is ambushing you with and wait, possibly years, just to prove to one woman (who you may or may not have met yet) that you are trustworthy and true? Will you really ‘lay down your life’ and your own needs to honor hers?

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Only if you want an amazing marriage one day where your wife trusts you so much she holds nothing back in the way she gives herself to you in and out of the bedroom. Only if you want your prayers to be heard and answered by God in an unstoppable way!

Dawn Walker is a single mom and lives with her 10-year-old son in Grand Rapids, MI. She is the Founder and Director of Single Parent Missions, a ministry dedicated to raising up single parent families to transform generations. She is also a speaker and works with churches to envision and equip them for effective single parent ministry. To subscribe to her daily “Hope Notes” for single parents, visit www.singleparentmissions.org.

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