10. When your sister tells you she lost her virginity (I)
True Story: I’m on the pedestrian walking aimlessly with a good friend of mine in this little town over in Georiga. Jake and I are talking, I guess I should say arguing, about whether or not it’s easier for girls to score than guys. I go, “Of course it’s easier for girls! Guys are always down!” He childishly rebuts, “There’s no way. Girls just don’t have the confidence. Guys have it way easier because we’re built for the hunt!” Jake pauses and rushes to my aid, “You okay, man?” He noticed that I stopped walking and wore a painful expression on my face. I explain,”I don’t know, dude. I feel like part of me died.” In retrospect, this was probably because I was drunk at 3pm and my biological train was whistling, but I decide to make a joke of it. I laugh, “…maybe somewhere my sister just lost her virginity.” We both chuckle it off and go on with our lives. As it turns out, several weeks later I’m in the backseat of my buddy’s volvo being sober cabbed by my sister in the middle of the night. My friends and I are incredibly inebriated enough to annoy her raw and she verbally reciprocates her feelings. I make another snarky joke to my dear sister’s complaining, “See, this is why you are a virgin!” She turns to me and launches the torpedo, “I’m not a virgin, anymore.” After further investigation we all discover that my mini heartattack happened around the time that she lost it. I definitely cried on the inside and I feel for every brother that has to go through this colorless unexplainable heartbreak.
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