Rules your husband MUST abide to – Let’s clear some things up about opposite-gender friendships. Krista J.’s husband is hanging out with another woman. Is that wrong? “He told me they are just friends, but he has been leaving me to go hang out with her,” she frets.
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As readers offer Krista advice, another question emerges: can married men have female friends? Ideally, they say, the members of a couple should be able to maintain individual friendships with the opposite sex, but in reality, a friendship like the one Krista’s husband is developing is often a slippery slope.
Friendship can lead to flirtation, and what once seemed harmless can grow and grow. So how do you prevent this?
Here, readers share some ground rules for a spouse’s opposite-sex friendships.
1. Make sure there’s no double standard.
“If he can, I can,” is the guideline many members live by. But when Carol M. proposes this approach to her husband, his response was the very definition of the double standard and one that many members feel spells trouble: that while it’s OK for a husband to talk to women, it’s taboo for a woman to have friendships with men. “No guy is just a friend,” he insists.
In contrast, Jill says that, in her marriage, both she and her husband have friends of the opposite sex. “The rule in our marriage is what is good enough for you is good enough for me,” she says. “If he wants to talk to girls. Fine. I get to talk to guys. It works both ways.”
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