Signs that nice guy is actually a narcissistic asshole – He ain’t foolin’ anyone.
We’ve all encountered him: the self-proclaimed “nice” guy who suddenly reveals himself to be a needy narcissist, jealous jerk, or passive-aggressive, entitled player. Or, if you’re really unfortunate, some combination of all three.
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So how do you tell if the dude you just started dating is genuinely good, or just a dick?
“You want to watch for patterns,” says therapist and relationship expert Julie Hanks, Ph.D., owner and director of Wasatch Family Therapy in Salt Lake City, Utah, and author of The Burnout Cure. “We all behave in unhealthy or manipulative ways once in awhile, but it’s problematic when there are consistent patterns of behavior that don’t feel quite right.”
Here are eight warning signs that there’s a not-so-nice guy lurking beneath the surface:
1. He Says Mean Things in a Nice Way
“If he says unkind or hurtful things to you couched in a kind voice, or in the name of ‘I’m just being honest,’ that’s still mean,” says Hanks. “Or, if he makes cutting or belittling comments and then laughs it off by saying ‘I was only joking! Why do you take things so seriously?’ he just may be a jerk in disguise.”
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