2. Your kids invade your bedroom without boundaries.
I get it: Bedtime routines are tough. And kids learn at an early age how to manipulate. Tell me if this sounds familiar: When it’s time to say “night-night,” your daughter crawls in your bed, looks up at you with her big pleating eyes and begs, “Please mommy, just one more book?” And bam that relentless ‘mom guilt’ kicks in. Forty-five minutes later, you emerge from the bed after reading yourself to sleep and your daughter is now in your room instead of her own. (Yep, I’ve been there, too.)
When you establish a set routine (one book, read in her own room) and stick to it consistently, you demonstrate to your kids that they can trust you to keep your word. But if you bend and cave to their every whimper and let them repeatedly violate your space and boundaries, you actually them feel less safe than if you stuck to your initial plan.
You can handle bad dreams in a similar fashion. If your son comes into your room in the middle of the night after having a bad dream, simply get up and go tuck him back in with whatever quick ritual makes him feel secure and safe (like a stuffed animal or soft blanket). Of course it’s OK to reassure him it was just a dream, but then kiss him and go back to your marital bed (child free).
Your marital bed is a sacred space for you and your spouse to share. So create a safe space for your children in their own beds. Doing this can actually be a marriage saver.
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