3 Sure signs you are a Great Mom.. But a Lousy Wife..

Signs you are a Great Mom - P.S. Your kids will benefit from this article, too. Every mom fears that she's not doing enough for her children. But, in reality, a recent study by the University of Maryland found that moms actually spend too much time with their kids. And that, thanks to our fast-paced culture, the time we do spend together is usually strained and pressured. More..

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Not sure if you're role as mom trumps your role as wife? Here are three signs it definitely does: 1. You encourage your kids to try out for multiple extra curricular activities. Encouraging your kids to try out for various activities is a great ... and it’s a HUGE time suck. You must limit how many activities your kids can sign up for at a time. The lack of limits in this area ends up grooming your kids for a life of feeling overwhelmed and thinking that being over-scheduled is normal. And I know that’s not the example you want to set. At the end of the day, if you’re out shuttling kiddos from one activity to another, it’s impossible for you to sit down at home with your partner and connect. The solution is simple, commit to letting each of your kids pick one activity at a time, so that you can hang up your chauffeur hat and stay home more to snuggle up to your hubby. 2. Your kids invade your bedroom without boundaries. I get it: Bedtime routines are tough. And kids learn at an early age how to manipulate. Tell me if this sounds familiar: When it’s time to say "night-night," your daughter crawls in your bed, looks up at you with her big pleating eyes and begs, "Please mommy, just one more book?" And bam that relentless 'mom guilt' kicks in. Forty-five minutes later, you emerge from the bed after reading yourself to sleep and your daughter is now in your room instead of her own. (Yep, I’ve been there, too.) When you establish a set routine (one book, read in her own room) and stick to it consistently, you demonstrate to your kids that they can trust you to keep your word. But if you bend and cave to their every whimper and let them repeatedly violate your space and boundaries, you actually them feel less safe than if you stuck to your initial plan. You can handle bad dreams in a similar fashion. If your son comes into your room in the middle of the night after having a bad dream, simply get up and go tuck him back in with whatever quick ritual makes him feel secure and safe (like a stuffed animal or soft blanket). Of course it's OK to reassure him it was just a dream, but then kiss him and go back to your marital bed (child free). Your marital bed is a sacred space for you and your spouse to share. So create a safe space for your children in their own beds. Doing this can actually be a marriage saver. 3. You jump to cater to your kids' every question and whim. Kids ask a ton of questions and demand what seems like endless attention. If you have the patience to answer, "Mom where do grasshoppers go to the bathroom?" or "Watch me jump my monster truck (for the 210th time) today," well done, you’re a natural nurturer. Where it gets tricky though is when your kids don’t understand that 'adult time' matters, too. It's not OK for them to continually interrupt when your husband is sharing his day with you. Every parent needs to explain to their kids that when adults are talking, they're not to interrupt unless they're bleeding or in significant physical pain. Trust me, kids catch on to this rule and can handle waiting their turn for a while. And trust me, your partner will be oh so grateful for your time and focused attention. It’s easy to forget about your role as a wife because being a mom takes up so much time. As women, our roles never end. And, if you're doing one (or, all three) of these behaviors, you’re doing a great job rocking the mom role. But, the key to succeeding at life (and marriage) is successfully making use of new information. We all do the very best we can until we find a better way. This article is about showing you a better way to balance both roles, wife and mother. Never forget that the beginning stages of change are always rough and awkward. Readjusting standards, rules, and limits with kids is no easy task. Nor is breaking your own familiar, comfortable habits (even when they're not truly serving you). But in the end, everyone in your house will feel less stress and far happier because of the changes you make. - CLICK HERE to join our BBM Channel for faster updates

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