Qualities of a great sex partner – There comes a point when those one night stands and random encounters stop being so fun and exciting, and start wearing on you. As hot as they can be, what’s even hotter is being with someone who knows you inside and outside of the bedroom.
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Having a partner as opposed to someone to play around with allows you to explore different sex positions, tactics, movement and sensations that you can’t explore with as much comfort when you’re with a stranger. But when you reach this critical point – where being someone’s partner is more important than getting laid — it’s time to take a long, hard look at what you’re bringing to the bedside table.
“A great sex partner is someone that is committed to the experience of having healthy, fun and satisfying sex that is mutually pleasurable,” says licensed marriage and family therapist, Marissa Nelson, LMFT, CST. “ It is important for men to be a great sex partner because instead of sex acting as validation for a guy’s sense of manhood, or only being about perfect sexual performance, they focus on pleasure and creating a space for exploration, excitement, naughtiness and sexual satisfaction for themselves and partner.”
How do you know if you’re bringing the highest level of sexual commitment, attentiveness and intensity to your partner? Here, experts share the qualities of an incredible sex partner. Consider this your check off list:
1. A Great Sex Partner Knows How To Communicate
In every relationships, there are always sensitive topics: past love history, your first big fight where you completely disagree and that big moment when you give constructive criticism in the bedroom. As touchy as it may feel to talk about what gets you going and what simply isn’t working, it’s the first step in building intimacy and showing you’re a dedicated partner. “Knowing what you like and telling your partner exactly how to help you feel good is great communication and allows the focus to be strictly on pleasure,” says relationship expert Dr. Lexx Brown-James, LMF.
If you’re not sure how to get the conversation going, licensed marriage and family therapist, Esther Boykin, LMFT, says asking questions is an easy starting point to open up dialogue. “The ability to talk about sex is key to creating and maintaining good sexual chemistry,” she says. “Learn to get comfortable asking your partner about their likes and their fantasies; and don’t wait to be asked to share yours. A great partner is one who is willing to set the stage for honest and loving communication about sex. After all how can you learn how to please each other if you aren’t willing to even talk about it.”
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