Differences between NEEDING a man and WANTING a man – KNOW the difference — it’s important. There was a period of time — say, up until I turned 25 — that when I thought about love, I felt anxious. At that time, I had already had a few significant relationships, but nothing that felt how I was always promised I would feel.
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Falling in love felt like this absolute, intangible experience that was meant for a select few, but not something I had been blessed enough to find or experience. I felt desperate to find someone — anyone! — that would prove to me that all men were different. They were cowards. They were unavailable. They weren’t just there for the good times, but could be partners during the bad.
But after so many dates, so many disappointments and more soul-searching than I’d ever do during my quarter-life crisis, I decided to take the attention away from this so-called visionary creature I was impatiently waiting to meet, and put the focus on myself.
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And the last few years, I’ve been figuring out how much more powerful it is to want a person, instead of needing a person. There’s a strength that comes in relying on yourself, no matter what does or doesn’t happen, that can really turn your perspective on dating around.
I’m in a happy (dare I say, easy!) relationship now, and I don’t need him. But I definitely want him. Here’s what it means to prioritize desire over necessity:
1. Needing a man means feeling desperate. / Wanting a man means feeling empowered.
If the thought of being a relationship seems so far-fetched that you claw at any opportunity to be in front of single men or spend hours upon hours aimlessly swiping, co. Instead, focus your day-to-day life on what makes you happy.
Exercise? Cooking? Traveling? Whatever it is, join organizations and clubs that support that, thus empowering yourself to be satisfied, regardless of your Facebook status.
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