You know how when you’re crazed, a good romp helps you blow off steam? While stress won’t inhibit a man’s arousal, a woman is a more complicated creature, sexually speaking. Pull her away for a pump-and-run, my friend—and your chances of getting her off aren’t so good. “If there are five roommates in the other room or she has 10 emails that need to get answered, it’s going to be hard for her to orgasm,” says Kerner. “For a woman to really get aroused, the parts of her brain associated with outside stress and anxiety need to deactivate.” So make it a point to get her in a relaxed environment, and remember to stoke that fire slowly. Most women require a full 15 to 20 minutes of sexual arousal and activity to reach orgasm with a partner. (Patience, son.)

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