5. The need for revenge
In their research, Meston and Buss found that many women had “revenge sex” with someone other than their most recent dating partner to get back at a cheating partner or to “even the score,” as some women put it. “Some women hoped their ex would find out about it and feel angry or hurt, and other women said they didn’t care if they found out or not — they felt better just knowing they had gotten revenge,” Meston explains. Why is the need for revenge such a turn-on for women? “Revenge can serve two basic functions,” Buss explains. The first function is one of deterrence: just as bullies stop picking on victims who retaliate, cheating partners sometimes stop their illicit activities when the other person retaliates in kind. The second function of revenge is “reputation management,” says Buss. “Women who are scorned sometimes suffer damage to their social reputation, whether they are cheated on or dumped. Having sex — especially if it is with someone who is relatively high in ‘mate value’ — can sometimes help to restore a woman’s reputation,” he explains.
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