When we get married, we often hold out hope that some of our partner’s habits and qualities will change. It’s fair to want to evolve together over the years, but you can’t always dictate the terms. “Trying to control everything I do just makes me want to dig in my heels and tune her out even more,” says John H., married three years. Often, going into control-freak mode is a sign that you’re afraid, says Thompson. If you’re able to tap into what’s causing that fear, it will be easier to address the root issue, which probably isn’t how he organized the pantry. “Men want to feel confident in their relationship, and acting overly controlling may leave your husband feeling worthless,” says Thompson.
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