Top 10 manly cars a guy should have to compensate for a small manhood (With Pics)

Manly cars: A quick disclaimer: this article is only intended for the most macho men, for those who understand that the kind of car you drive has a direct and linear relationship with manhood size. This article is not intended for men that consider other ridiculous qualities to define their manhood like work ethic, honesty, or parenting abilities – that stuff is for weaklings and namby-pambies.

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This article is not for the wimps who drive sensible cars. For all the men who drive a vehicle that is reasonably priced, safe, reliable, and comfortable, stop reading now. Go pick up some housekeeping magazine and get fitted for a skirt. Real men, keep reading.

Anything below this line will cause serious spikes in manhood. Women, birds, dogs, cows, absolutely anything in the area will become pregnant just by reading this article. Men will grow fantastically thick hair on their face and chest like a 19th-century lumberjack. Men may also grow hair on their back, too, but please don’t ignore that. It could be a serious health condition. See a doctor if that happens and don’t sue this website.

Anyway, alpha males need some alpha rides. These 10 vehicles put the “D” in drive. Everyone should watch out: there are men coming through. 

10. Sin City Hustler

via wot.motortrend.com 

Sunday. Sunday! SUNDAY!!! This Sunday get an awesome dose of extreme manhood with the Sin City Hustler. Come experience what this 700 horsepower abomination can do to wimpy tanks and Hummers (spoiler alert: crush them). Its 66-inch tires mean that unless someone is over 6 feet tall, like a real man would be, they’ll need to get a step stool like some girl.

Big Toyz racing wants its customers to know that its $1 million kick-ass machine is the perfect way to distract people from any of those sissy feelings of inadequacy. Buying this car will ensure that absolutely nobody will openly point, laugh, or roll their eyes in disgust at this massive waste of resources. If they do, crush them too!