Steps to help you master SLOW sex – You ready? In today’s over-stressed, disconnected world, sex should be the sacred space that you carve out in order to deeply connect with your partner. Sex isn’t a task. Your orgasms aren’t on a to-do list.
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Sex is an experience to savor, and it starts by doing the following.
Slow sex starts in foreplay. For many couples, their pre-sex rituals are the things that build the sexual tension and anticipation in the room.
It could be as overt as putting on your sex playlist, putting condoms on the bedside table, and hungrily looking into your partners eyes and saying “Get your sexy ass on the bed, now.” Or it could be as subtle as grabbing your partner’s bum while they brush their teeth.
Turn off any and all digital distractions. Have a bath together, or start with some lightmassage. Heck, even slow dancing to imaginary music at the foot of your bed will work. Anything that allows you to disconnect from your day, get into your body, and connect with your partner is phenomenal pre-foreplay.
Now, on to the juicy stuff.
If your partner is a woman
I spent years studying Taoist sexual philosophy, and one of my absolute favorite concepts that came from them is the idea that women and men cultivate sexual energy differently. Men’ssexual energy starts in the genitals and spreads outwards over time, and women’s sexual energy starts in the extremities and needs to be slowly brought towards the genitals.
So what does this mean in practical, actable terms?
Here are a few examples of things that you can do to start your slow sex foreplay:
- Spend time touching and cuddling.
- If your partner enjoys being kissed on the neck/shoulder area, then spend a few minutes lightly breathing on the nape of her back, behind her ear, and over the part of her shoulder. Over time, use somewhat firmer touch, suck on her flesh lightly.
- Spend ample time kissing her. Kiss her everywhere.
- Spend enough time on the preparatory phase that when you eventually go to touch her more intimately, you’ll have no doubt that she’ll already be really turned on. If you’re unsure, double the time that you tease her/engage in your foreplay. Her body should start moving in a responsive manner with your hands. Her breathing will change.
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