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Signs your relationship is seriously dysfunctional – Are you giving too much in your relationship? We sometimes lose ourselves in relationships that are important to us. How can you tell if you are simply engaging in healthy accommodation or if you have crossed the line into dysfunction?
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It’s difficult to find a relationship where each person has the same degree of commitment to the relationship throughout the life of the relationship. This isn’t to say “unbalanced relationships” will not work out. As long as the people in the relationship are willing to accommodate each other at various points, then the relationship can maintain its health.
Here are some examples:
1. Your past trauma prevents you from compromise.
It’s important for one person to go to the beach for vacation and the other person wants to go to the mountains. The person wanting to go to the mountains recognizes this is more important to his partner, so he accommodates by placing her needs above his own for thegood of the relationship. This is healthy.
Now, imagine the person who wants to go to the mountains wants to avoid the beach because when he was young, his sister drowned at the beach. He hates the beach and wants to avoid those painful memories. Is it still a healthy accommodation for him to agree to go, even when it will create undo pain for him? No, this is moving into the area of dysfunction, unless he has decided he wants to overcome his fear and push himself to make the trip to the beach.
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