2. They want a shoulder to cry on.
Good emotional support is tough to come by out there in the cold, dark dating world. If you had a deep friendship backing up the passionate side of your relationship, they can feel like you are still a soft place to fall, emotionally.
Unfortunately, when they show up like this and vent about their problems on you, then disappear again, it just creates turmoil. We don’t often think about emotional labor as work, but it IS indeed work. Consider whether your ex is entitled to this kind of work from you.
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